Spiritual Transformations: Living Now In Eternity

I have been reading the book Spiritual Transformations: Science, Religion and Human Becoming by Karl E. Peters. I picked it up on the new books shelf at the library for three reasons:
1) The title sounded interesting.
2) It was thin enough to get through by reading a bit each night before bed.
3) There was a beautiful picture of light shining through green trees on the cover.

I know--don't judge a book by it's cover.

I finally reached the last chapter today and wanted to comment on a couple things I read.
"Like the Taoist story of the climbing of Mt. Everest--a story of conquest or of befriending--the Christmas story that I heard and saw portrayed, presented to me two ways of living on the edge of time--living by the power that destroys in order to preserve itself, or by the love that enables all people to flourish and fulfill their potential."

• I read this and had one of those moments where your brain is trying to take in the fullness of what you just read and still can't quite comprehend it, yet you love what it said. Isn't this the whole point--to lose ourselves in Christ and be so fully consumed by the Triune God that we let go of trying to secure our own lives and desires and live to love so that all around us might thrive?
  

"...being mindful of their needs and mindful of our limitations....Assuming whatever shape according to the conditions? That's playing when you think about it--the playing of young children. Becoming as a little child, Jesus says, one can enter the kingdom of heaven. When one becomes like this, one is living now in eternity."

• Reminds me of Paul when he writes "For though I am free with respect to all, I have made myself a slave to all, so that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though I myself am not under the law) so that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law) so that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, so that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that I might by all means save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, so that I may share in its blessings. (I Cor. 9.19-23)
• Then there's this whole eternity piece; the idea that everything we do, no matter how insignificant we see it, is part of the cosmic work of God. We take part in this every day and moment, but we don't often realize it. That's what the mindfulness piece was about--being aware that we are here to serve others and in that we find our true selves and purpose is part of eternity...lived NOW.
  

We Are Pilgrims On A Journey...

The song that line comes from is kinda cheesy (Let Me Be Your Servant by Richard Gillard). It's a ho-hum tune and gets annoying after a while; but so does constantly moving around and being part of a nomadic people. Maybe that's the depth of what the composer and lyricist wanted to convey. The last few years have found me caught in-between a love/hate relationship with being nomadic. There is adventure, excitement, challenge, variety and change with each new setting. There is also leaving, goodbyes, packing/unpacking, losing things/people and the general dis-ease/malaise of feeling lost. One of my great lessons from internship is that life truly is constantly in the midst of positive/negative. It's one huge dialectic. With joy comes sorrow. With life comes death. With pain comes healing. With faith comes doubt. With fear comes security. Just to name a few.

When I stepped away from getting an MDiv degree and heading toward being a pastor I ended up taking about 9 months to a year off and just feeling like I was wandering aimlessly as I muddled around in the dark with more questions than answers or directions. I lost the class of people I started with who were my closest friends. We'd been together since day one of seminary, but I couldn't just go on internship like they were all doing. I wasn't there in my faith walk and didn't have all that much trust that it was the best decision. So I said "no" and stayed behind at the seminary looking for jobs in chemistry (my undergrad degree) and working to finish an MA focused in the New Testament. Somehow in the midst of all this changing and running around that I was doing God was still at work creating good things for me on my behalf.

I still kinda miss the people I started with, but the group I'm with now is different in a good way that I can't quite put my finger on yet. All I know is that despite my fear and insecurity and distrust in God, God has worked (and still is!) all things out for good because God loves me. So not much more than praise from this corner! It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me in my head--that God loves me so much, that God picked me to belong in God's family--but I'm ever so grateful that God is who God is (I AM who I AM--Exodus 3.1-14).

I have to say though that it's not being on internship that I miss. It's being with a people and belonging to a people that I miss. So I've determined to go belong to some other people in this area instead. Maybe I'm just taking JC seriously, but when I walk into church, that's the oasis and "home" for me no matter how many times I've moved around in the last year. It's taken some adjusting to get used to, but it's okay...I guess.

So I'm a nomad. God still loves me, provides for me and travels with me. Really...what more can you ask for?

A Birthday to Remember

Okay so it's not official yet because it isn't until 9:16am tomorrow morning, but in my family we celebrate a birthday week not just a day. First off was a BBQ at the McCullough's house on Saturday. I didn't realize I would end up being the star of the get together, but it was fun to celebrate my birthday family style--gathered with those who I've grown to love over this year and with whom I share some deep connections. The highlights include a huge bunch of birthday balloons, delicious food, great conversation, a huge cake with raspberry filling and chocolate frosting, Dad (aka Dick McC.) coming in at the last minute to break out an emergency candle to light for my cake :), cards with goodies in them and best of all a long conversation with Sue and Dick about how I've ended up where I am today. It was a wonderful night.

Today at church I shared leftover birthday cake for the morning coffee shindig and whilst I was worshiping God with the McCulloughs amongst others, my intern committee secretly brought in a chocolate cake with delicious frosting, a card and a balloon. I didn't know about it until after the 3rd service because I ended up talking to people and getting ready for the last service. After the potluck with the Chinese congregation, Kirsti from my intern committee brought me one of the best gifts I think I've ever gotten on my birthday--flowers. No one ever buys me flowers and I never get them for my birthday. I was so surprised and grateful. Now carrying around flowers (very fragrant lilies) people in the narthex began to notice and they all sang happy birthday to me.

None of this includes tomorrow's festivities which I will blog about then. You'll just have to wait for the 2nd edition...