Tediously listless

Why is it that life has not turned out to be as exicitng or adventurous as I thought or expected it to be? Isn't life supposed to be this great thing? If it's not, then why do people romaticize it so? How did I get this expectation anyway???

I suppose one option is that it's been passed on this way from previous generations. Always talking about how grateful they are to be alive and all.

There's the media. Every TV show and movie I see make life appear as this great adventure. Pointing out how many options there are in life (good and bad) but making things seem like a thrill to live through.

Then there's this christian theme that people often purport as life being so much better and exciting with Jesus. Well what if that's not really the case? What if life is just as sucky (if not seemingly more sometimes) whether Jesus is with you or not? Which, I guess, brings me to my underlying question: what difference does Jesus really make in my life? Sure I know the doctrinal answer. The one that theologians, preachers, Luther and even Jesus would want me to give. But what if that doesn't really hit home for me? What if I am unmoved by said actions of Christ? No, I'm not questioning my eternal salvation. What concerns me is life after that. What if life is just as boring post-jesus as it was before? What on earth (literally) is there to look forward to? Isn't there supposed to be something more to life than just getting up, eating, working, sleeping and doing it over and over and over again?

What are you supposed to do when you discover life is really just one big blur; one boring and tedious moment after the next? There's certainly no excitement there. To this extent the only reply, weak yet faithful, I can muster is: Lord, have mercy.

Grand Opening

A new blog opportunity for you! My good friend Libby and I have started a blog cataloging our travels though the world of wine. We will be tasting and critiquing a bottle of wine each month. Check in periodically for our thoughts on what we try. We're still in the construction stage right now, but we'll be up and running soon. The title is Buy the Glass: Save the Cork. ENJOY!!

A Weekend of Fun

This last weekend was jam packed with fun events. And I was only planning on two of them.

Ethiopian Food
Friday night Kelly, C. John, Sarah and I went to the Blue Nile for some authentic Ethiopian food. It was quite delicious! Some of the dishes were a little too over/heavily spiced for my liking, but the mixture of flavors was good. Everything was pureed too. We got a huge platter that sampled all of the main dishes and each of them was a bean paste consistency sauce with either more beans/veggies (vegetarian ones) or meat floating in them. Food is consumed by tearing off a piece of enjera (flat, porous, dense pancake like material that's ~1/8" thick) and scooping up your choice of flavored paste. The other dish we tried was a mix of veggies in a butter sauce with herbs/spices and plain rice. Also tastey. It was really cool to try something different for a change. Afterwards we stopped off at the Resouce Center for the Americas. They have an inhouse library/bookstore. Lots of neat material on Central/South American countries. Some decadent chocolate on sale too.

Global Market
Saturday morning Kelly, C. John and I convened in Midtown Minneapolis to go to the grand opening of the Midtown Exchange. The various entities are housed in a former Sears building that is gigantic. Warehouse sized on the bottom with at least a 10 story tower shooting out the middle. The building houses lofts, condos/penthouses, Allina Health offices and the Global Market. The market is packed with stores owned by local international families who sell various things. Some are cafe style places that offer food fresh cooked. Some are more market like and sell products, cards, trinkets, hand-made items, etc. The food selection was phenomenal. So many good smells and tastes. You can sample Indian on one corner and Mexican the next. El Salvadorian and Chinese. After a tastey lunch of mango juice and a turkey sandwich we toured some of the lofts/penthouses upstairs. A very hot guy took us up in the elevator. His name was Chris, but didn't think quick enough to give him my phone number. He caught a few glances at me.

St. Anthony Park Arts Fair
Saturday afternoon Kelly and I wandered through the arts fair on Como Ave. It was significantly smaller than the Midtown Exchange, but interesting too. A small petting zoo and various arts booths were on hand. Lots of pottery for sale. Didn't know it was such a big thing here in the cities.

Dinner and Movies
Anticipating a call from a new friend with an invite to go dancing that night, we plopped in my apartment and rested for a while. We watched a couple movies and ate some coconut/cilantro chicken with chicken flavored rice, broccoli and a special peanut sauce.

Dancing?
Our friend (Carmen) finally called and gave us her address. Well, she could live just about anywhere in the cities. We took a stab and headed out. We were actually pretty close to where we were supposed to be, but even the last few turns to her house were rather confusing and something we wouldn't have figured out on our own. Carmen never gave us actual directions. We had to pry out of her how to get there from where we were. She seemed just as confused as we were. After standing around her house for a while and not really understanding what Carmen or her aunt were saying because they both spoke very softly and in low tones, we finally headed out. Surprise, I'm driving! Carmen didn't really give a lot of direction then either. Had to make a turn around to get to a parking spot. Watched a cop pick up some guy who was laying on the sidewalk. We finally made it to the dancing place and hopped out. $15 to dance from 12-2. Too bad I only had $13 on me. Carmen and her brother offered to pay for both of us. She didn't seem to understand what we wanted to know about the time. She kept saying 11, but it was obviously after that and most likely going to go later than 11pm. Kelly explained to her that we had to get up early for church and 2am was a bit late for us. She convinced her that it would be better to go on a Friday so we could stay later. Perhaps Kelly will go in 2 weeks. We'll see. I'll be in PA then. The place seemed nice and there were a lot of people in line to get in. All of them were dressed in "cowboy/country" attire with hats and boots. Not sure what kind of dancing it was going to be exactly. We thought salsa, but perhaps more slow or line dancing? Who knows.

A Day of Rest
Sunday I spent recuperating from a fun filled Friday and Saturday. Went to church and heard (more of a lecture really) a sermon on the DaVinci Code--separating fact from fiction. He (Pr. Sean) did a really good job presenting info.--stuff I learned in history class at sem. and some new stuff related particularly to the fictive nature of the book (the Priory of Sion and refuting claims the characters made in the book). Went to the grocery store and wandered a bit. Bought A LOT of yogurt. Watched a couple movies and laid on the floor a lot. Distributed a few things across the hall to Karen's old room to start separating things for packing.

All in all, a very fun, active and crazy weekend!!!

Anxiety Cafe

I hate that wandering feeling sometimes. Okay, most of the time. Is this what freedom really is? To not have any ties to anything and to just be floating around? If such is the case, then I don't want full freedom. It is too much. So where does that leave me? Dreaming. Hoping. Waiting. Stressing. Basically it leaves me in Anxiety Cafe. A place I frequent all too often; whether by force or by choice. (Occasionally those two are the same thing.) The drink is bitter, the cuisine is bland and the bakery confections are hard as rocks. But oh how efficacious and intoxicating it all is!!! The addiction grows with each visit. Ever so slowly I am pulled into stagnancy and apathy. For I have grown to love my cafe and it is familiar to me. I love it with an ill affection.

Simultaneously I am driven to leave the comforts of my cafe and to venture outside. I reach the door, but linger. I look longingly at my table. Should I go or should I stay? Both pull at me. I long to leave but I greatly desire to stay. The cafe is safety and the doorway outside is risky--dangerous even. One of the greatest conundrums ensues. What am I to do?

Working for the (Wo)Man

Another long day at work. Long only in the sense that I worked until 1:30pm, but it was taxing nonetheless. I had been preparing all week for a day when we'd be overworked and forced to finish things quickly. Today was the day.

The morning was quiet. The first phone call was from my co-worker Theresa. She graciously offered to come in a bit earlier than scheduled to get things done. The second phone call was not so encouraging. Apparently our work had flaws. Was this unexpected to my supervisor? I suppose it's possible, but should it really have been probable? Fortunately two brains, 4 eyes and 4 hands did the trick. If only I made commission on what I processed today!

Here's hoping for a better job. Soon. One with more hours, one that pays more and one that requires me to do things for which I have been educated.