Rude Picnicers, Inflatable Toys, Bingo and Yodeling

I know, you're thinking "What on earth could those things possibly have in common?" Well that would be the events of my Sunday.

On Sunday I traversed to Incarnation Lutheran up north to hear Glenn preach. The church was amazing! Designed with a lodge/cabin look to it, the main sanctuary is beautiful, large and inviting. Talk about feeling like you're in God's "house." Turns out the praise and worship service was not in the main sanctuary. I came in around offering and finished that service. While greeting the woman in the pew in front of me, she explained the p&w service was in the new Incarnation Hall down the way. After walking through some large hallways and passing many rooms I did find the hall; also beautifully designed. Glenn's sermon was awesome btw. I hope I can preach something like that someday. It was eloquent, but down to earth. Relevant but full of Jesus. Finished worship there and toured some of the church with Glenn.

Post service, I planned to stop at a nearby park to read and relax. There were few tables left in the shade, but I managed to snag one. About a 1/2 hour after I arrived nearly 4 carloads worth of people converge with another family who had already staked out two large tables near mine. A small contingent came over to the table in front of me and asked if they could "um...share some space?" The woman agreed as she and her daughter would be leaving once they finished eating. One guy plops down a smoking grill, another brings over a huge tray of raw meat, another a watermelon and the last was hovering closely. I decided that was enough and packed up to leave. By all means, take the space, but plan ahead, come early and stake out the tables. Don't run other people off!!!

I ended up at a park closer to home where I was greeted by huge inflatable castles and slides. Apparently you should not try going to a park unless you have a family with kids. I walked to the other side of the lake which looked more calm. Surprise! It's bingo day at the picnic shelter. First they opened with the National Anthem and waved red flags with white crosses on them. Then I watched a clown walk around and try to talk with people. Later on there was (I kid you not!) yodeling and trumpets playing. All in all, it was a fascinatingly random day. At least at this park I was distanced enough I could ignore the strange festivities. Mind you, this all happened in the span of about 6-7 hours. Wow...what a day.

Bad News

Maybe it makes you feel annoyed, angry, upset, ticked, bitter or physically ill. Sometimes feeling disappointed can be worse than all those just listed. When the bad news comes, it hurts. Maybe it's just a tiny cut and things heal fast. But maybe you've been cut deep.

Words do that. Things happen when we use them. We might not always see the effect they have, but something is going on underneath the surface. If it's something bad, it usually takes time before you're ready to talk about it in a constructive way. If it's serious, then there's that whole grief process to anticipate.

I don't like pain. I generally make every effort to avoid it and go to great lengths to prevent it from happening. It still comes of course, but I try to stop whatever pain I can prevent. Still, there are times when I throw caution to the wind hoping against myself and others that events will turn out okay and might actually materialize. Today I was reminded about the price you pay when you act in/on faith and hope despite what you see and sense. Don't let anyone fool you, the price is exceptionally high.

I do not write these things to discourage you, but you already know what I am talking about. That feeling in your stomach that the world should now end because you have been dealt a fierce blow--how can anyone endure such things? Then you remember the definition of insanity: repeating the same steps over and over again expecting different results; extreme foolishness; folly; something that is extremely foolish. I rest my case.

Early Morning Clean Up

It's the day after the event so I cleaned up the leftovers from last night: bookmarks, literature racks, books from the bookstore. The usual seminary resources displays. This means I got to take the cart and ride the elevator to the basement while returning things. It's quiet and cool in the basement. The office always has something buzzing or whirring in the background. I enjoy these short escapes to the basement.

Other than that, it's been slow at work. This leaves lots of time to daydream and wonder about things. I dropped in to chapel this morning and learned about Native American spirituality practices. What we ended up doing was basically a meditative centering prayer. Something I have been meaning to get back to now that I'm done house sitting. It's hard to relax in a mess of dog and cat hair. The one downfall of chapel was that now I'm anxiously awaiting my afternoon nap. I'm rather wiped out from yesterday's 12 hours of work and being too tired to wind down last night. Strange combo of being exhausted and buzzed from all the people and commotion. The question is, can I make it to 2:30pm or will I have to leave early because I'm falling asleep?

Final Post

This afternoon I had to shovel up a rabbit from the backyard that some animal killed and proceeded to eat from the butt forward. It wasn't pretty. Though there was this odd moment where it looked kind of funny flying through the air into the woods behind the house.

This is my final posting from the house. Tomorrow the housesitting ends. It's been fun. Izzy and Kitty are adorable and fun to hang out with. I won't miss the pet hair, but I will miss Izzy's looks of "pet me now please" and Kitty's squaking meows. All the natural light coming in the windows will be greatly missed. It will be really nice to get to sleep in my own bed again and to have all my things in one place.

Time to get to the laundry while I have a free washer and dryer.

The Northwest Beckons

Look how gorgeous. In about 6 weeks I will be able to gaze upon such splendor. Six weeks. How could it be so close; so soon?? This lovely view was provided by my good friend Chris. He and his wife Heidi are the ones kayaking.

Leaving. Happens all the time. People and things come and go. You can't arrive without first leaving. I just wish it didn't hurt so much. Losing things and grieving their loss (whether temporary or permanent) is hard work. It drains your body, mind and soul. When the psalmists talk about weary souls and eyes that waste away, they mean it--literally. There is hope. When I got this picture today, I was reminded of the bitter herbs of leaving. And there will be much left behind. But look at the mountains and the fog and how much new life is out there waiting to be created and discovered. This picture came at just the right time to remind me that new life does await me. Here, in the waiting, it is hard to imagine there is more than what I can see.

In the most present moment, life is characterized by the unknown, the possible, the maybe, the not yet, the what might be, the what might not be. When I look back, things all seem to fall into place and the timing is just right. In the moment, my point of view is always one of bad timing. Things never seem to line up right when they are supposed to. Ends don't quite meet, paths branch off in very different directions than you had hoped for or planned. And yet I sit here with the promise of grace that no matter what happens I will be led and cared for by my shepherd. The one they call Good. I am challenged to believe against myself and what I see. That's what faith is: trusting the unknown in the hope that what is uncertain will yield certainty and truth will prevail. And in the background I hear the commercial for Chase Freedom. Sigh. But it's after 11pm and it's time to sleep. The time for thinking clearly and making decisions is past and gone. So I look longingly one more time at the kayaks and the mountains in hope.

Cartoon Addiction

Since I've been housesitting this June/July, I have watched loads of cartoons. And they play them non stop on cable. Hours pass by and the cartoons keep coming. Must...turn....channels.....now!!!!

Ok, so they're still on in the background.

This morning my parents left. It was so nice to have them here for the last week. Life was so busy and full of entertaining things and now it's incredibly quiet. Even the dog, Izzy, is laying on the floor with this sad look on her face b/c she's bored. Apparently I'm not as interesting as my parents. This morning I played housekeeping and got to clean up the apartment from a week's worth of visitors by washing the sheets and towels and sweeping the floor.

My mom took me on a shopping spree this last week. I have loads of work clothes now and some new shoes. Makes me feel excessive and materialistic--and all this to work in a church. We hit a hot spot at Herberger's where I got 5 pairs of pants for about $10 each. I'll be stylish all next year on internship.

My most recent discovery this week was that my car needed what probably amounted to $500 of work. Apparently the CaCl they use on the roads to de-ice causes severe corrosion on brake pads, shoes and rotors. My brakes were a mess. My poor dad ended up fixing it for 3 days straight. Not much of a vacation for him or the rest of us as we made 3 separate trips to a car parts store in Savage, MN. Not exactly how I imagined finding new locations on the map in MN. Despite this, we did picnic at Lake Harriet and walked through the beautiful rose gardents there. I also made a deliciously awesome meal for my parents (my version of chicken parmesan, chicken veggie rice and chocolate chip cookie bars) and my mom and I had fun cooking during the week.

Ideally I would be working on planning chapel for Tuesday and writing up some kind of sermon. I have no words for it. I've been working on it for the last 3 weeks and nothing. Kinda freaks me out b/c when I have to do this consistently and this happens....well, it won't be pretty. Instead of working on chapel, I am watching cartoons and reading a highly recommended book The Hammer of God by Bo Giertz. Surprisingly, it's as good as I've been told it is. The first section was a humorous yet fond reminder of what ministry really means, looks like and how quickly it can get out of control. Hopefully others will be incapable of triumphing at the dashing of my all to quick childish excitement with the slow but steady onsetting of inadequacy and despair. As y'all have no doubt devised, my inability to plan chapel is not helping such matters. Neither are the two clergy shirts staring gaping holes into my soul. This all seems to be more trouble than it's worth. How could I have ever been so foolish to think it was actually God's call in my life to preach? With temptation around every corner, who can survive? Who can endure the darkness and hollow that awaits the soul? (The dog's snoring now and the cartoons keep rolling.) As I sit here typing, I notice the book entitled Metamorpha: Jesus as a way of life. It mocks me and yet makes me laugh that what I seek most is only a Word away.

Kyrie Eleison upon this stupid girl whose heart bends and breaks at the thought that something might actually be required of her (for to whom much has been given, much will be required--Luke 12:47-49). The word is sharper than a two edged sword (Hebrews 4:11-13).

I, of course, blame this entire problem on the cartoons which are still playing in the background.