Tediously listless

Why is it that life has not turned out to be as exicitng or adventurous as I thought or expected it to be? Isn't life supposed to be this great thing? If it's not, then why do people romaticize it so? How did I get this expectation anyway???

I suppose one option is that it's been passed on this way from previous generations. Always talking about how grateful they are to be alive and all.

There's the media. Every TV show and movie I see make life appear as this great adventure. Pointing out how many options there are in life (good and bad) but making things seem like a thrill to live through.

Then there's this christian theme that people often purport as life being so much better and exciting with Jesus. Well what if that's not really the case? What if life is just as sucky (if not seemingly more sometimes) whether Jesus is with you or not? Which, I guess, brings me to my underlying question: what difference does Jesus really make in my life? Sure I know the doctrinal answer. The one that theologians, preachers, Luther and even Jesus would want me to give. But what if that doesn't really hit home for me? What if I am unmoved by said actions of Christ? No, I'm not questioning my eternal salvation. What concerns me is life after that. What if life is just as boring post-jesus as it was before? What on earth (literally) is there to look forward to? Isn't there supposed to be something more to life than just getting up, eating, working, sleeping and doing it over and over and over again?

What are you supposed to do when you discover life is really just one big blur; one boring and tedious moment after the next? There's certainly no excitement there. To this extent the only reply, weak yet faithful, I can muster is: Lord, have mercy.