Leaving Space

Alone again....Naturally.

If I had ashes, I would rub them on my face and sit in them. If I had sackcloth, I would wear it. Today the sun does not shine. Today the world is dark.

An Amazing Weekend

The whirlwind tour has come and gone. Nights of conversation and laughter have stilled. Days of walks, lunches, shopping, preparing, dressing up, ceremonies, meals and rest have come to a close. It's official. Karen's graduated--eventhough we were only now made aware that it actually happened in January...heh heh heh :) It's been good. I wouldn't have traded it for the world.

Megan has triumphed and is free from the world that is school for the next year and a half. We salute you! Many of my friends will be leaving soon. Here's to those who are sticking it out for the summer! Who would have thought you could have so much fun in one weekend?

The Anxious Bench

Traditionally a place reserved for those who were contemplating converting to Christianity. They would sit on a bench near the front of the church. That alone would make anyone anxious! It's uses back then lent it only to a very narrow understanding. Look up the early American evangelist Charles Finney for more info. In today's context I find it encompasses many situations and is quite a good metaphor for life. Today it means the place where I sit on the edge of my chair or couch waiting to see Karen. She's on her way....soon. I can't wait!

It is also the place I reside in terms of internship. Doubt knows no season nor time. It comes in waves. Waves that lap at your feet mocking you. Waves that make you nervous as they hit against your knees. Waves that make you worried as they crash at your waist. Waves that make you freak out as they splash at your neck. Waves that drive you to utter fear and accomplish what they set out to do: to create doubt within you and to divide you from Christ. Doubt is the subtle, sneaky tool of my nemesis.

On the flipside, it is the place of nervous energy that sits in my tummy. It urges me to keep busy and to accomplish the tasks of the day. It adds to my sharpness and alertness. It reminds me to keep moving forward. When tamed, it can be a useful tool.

What makes you anxious?

The Blue Blazer

Each semester, or at least once a year, one of my professors pulls out his bright blue blazer and wears it to class. When I say "bright blue," I really mean bright blue. The color borders on neon brightness. Blue like the color of a bright blue car. It is truly a treat and a rarity. You're lucky to witness this sight. The first time I saw the blue blazer was in my Jesus the Savior class. That day my prof declared that he wore the blazer on days when he was giving "big lectures" and needed the confidence boost. The class chuckled and as promised, it was a very good lecture.

Today the depth of the blue blazer was further revealed. The blazer is also as close to glory as he ever gets, then eventually he has to take it off and that settles that. Again, I chuckled and was delivered a phenomenal lecture today. I try not to be superstitious, but when presented with evidence like this, well.....Behold the power of the blue blazer! (imagine old commercials about cheese--Behold the power of cheese!)

Movie Review

Pan's Labyrinth

Highly recommended. The movie is in Spanish and has subtitles, but it's definitely worth it. It is a fanciful twist of Spain in the early 1940's during WWII at a Spanish outpost in the middle of the woods. It is a bit gruesome at times and I had to look away routinely or else face nightmares or worse for the next few days. Plus, who needs to get that accustomed to violence? A young girl and her pregnant mother go to visit the girl's stepdad who is a captain at the outpost. He is a cruel, ruthless military man interested in his wife only for the male child she carries. Her pregnancy is difficult and the baby barely survives delivery. Meanwhile the girl is off exploring a labyrinth behind the outpost. She discovers from a faun that she is Princess Moanna(?) of the underworld and must complete 3 tasks by the full moon to open the labyrinth's portal and take reign again in her kingdom. Enthralled by the idea of leaving such a hellish place on earth, she accepts the challenge.

The movie is amazing. Beautifully written, directed and filmed storyline. The acting is superb; especially by the main character, the young girl. It is an adult movie as it's rated R and quite gory at times--think Schindler's list or Saving Private Ryan (executions, torture, etc.).

Most annoying thing: the film got stuck about 2-3 minutes into the movie and we watched the light melt the film--literally. About 45 minutes later they finally started the movie. About another 45 minutes and they had the subtitles back on.

Scripture Stalking

There are three texts in the bible that seem to chase me down constantly. They do it slyly and quietly and then suddenly...BAM!! There they are. Contestant #1: John 20 (Jesus gives peace and shows scars to disciples and Thomas). Contestant #2: Luke 4:18-19 i.e. Isaiah 61:1-2 (Spirit is upon me to proclaim release to captives, bind up brokenhearted, etc.). Contestant #3: 2 Corinthians 4:7-12 (treasure in clay jars). Somehow it is comforting to continually be pursued by scripture. They have become close friends to me carrying me through down times and proclaiming celebration over me in times of joy.

Today as I was writing my pastoral care paper I came across the Luke/Isaiah and the 2 Cor. texts again. I am quoting the first as a start to a section of the paper. Which I would have had difficulty doing without my handy BW7 (bibleworks) software. I bought it last year. Just installed it today. Cause what's the rush really??? Now, however, I am a bible footnoting machine! HA! Funny paper too. It's all about Jesus--not so much "pastoral care." But really, is there any better balm in Gilead than the Word of God? I think not. Fortunately salvation is a person who comes and gets me and not a destination to which I must travel. Otherwise, I'd never get there--ever.