The Anxious Bench

Traditionally a place reserved for those who were contemplating converting to Christianity. They would sit on a bench near the front of the church. That alone would make anyone anxious! It's uses back then lent it only to a very narrow understanding. Look up the early American evangelist Charles Finney for more info. In today's context I find it encompasses many situations and is quite a good metaphor for life. Today it means the place where I sit on the edge of my chair or couch waiting to see Karen. She's on her way....soon. I can't wait!

It is also the place I reside in terms of internship. Doubt knows no season nor time. It comes in waves. Waves that lap at your feet mocking you. Waves that make you nervous as they hit against your knees. Waves that make you worried as they crash at your waist. Waves that make you freak out as they splash at your neck. Waves that drive you to utter fear and accomplish what they set out to do: to create doubt within you and to divide you from Christ. Doubt is the subtle, sneaky tool of my nemesis.

On the flipside, it is the place of nervous energy that sits in my tummy. It urges me to keep busy and to accomplish the tasks of the day. It adds to my sharpness and alertness. It reminds me to keep moving forward. When tamed, it can be a useful tool.

What makes you anxious?