Two South Africans

People tell you to go and live your life; to make your own path and way in the world and to figure things out for yourself. So I do, but then I get stuck and confused. Then when I start to self-destruct and fall apart, people say "Why didn't you ask for help?" Well because you told me to go figure this out on my own!!

One of my professors at seminary once mentioned in class that we were only in seminary because we had failed at something in life. You know why I went to seminary? Because I am a failure at life. I had to go to learn how to live without hating myself so much, to cure my soul that had been in agony for years and to figure out how to be an adult. Well I'm kind of half way there. Let me just say that why I went and why I was called there are two different but related things. People tell me that your 20s are supposed to be fun and exciting and full of life and adventure. Well the 20s suck. I despise wishing away my life, but where's the fun? Where's the love? Where's life? If life is just getting up each day and going to some random job and despising your life, then count me out.

It's like people want you to be self-sufficient and an army of one. Doing that takes loads of energy. Energy that if supplied by only one person will drain them unto death in a relatively short period of time. So why do we abandon our young adults? Why do we shove them over the cliff and watch them flail miserably knowing that only a very few will be ready to fly that first time? Why do we send them on this sacrificial mission? Why do we break their spirits and bodies so early? What is it that we hope they will learn by us not walking with them and teaching them?

If you're trying to break our pride and our youthful arrogance, you needn't break our spirits along wtih it. True, this is no easy road and we young adults are not easy people with which to work. But life is different now. You don't just graduate from an institution and miraculously get a job or career for the rest of your life. Teach us how to discern and deal with change. Don't just push us off the cliff and hope for the best. To do so is to take the easy way out and to deny your call to community and the body of Christ. We're not impossible people, just difficult. But so are you elders.

Last night I met two people roughly my age from South Africa, Gareth and Julie. Besides their lovely accents, they shared the pain of being this age and having no idea what they want in life. There are options, but what's the next step? What will it cost if I choose this and not that? Thank God for other travelers on this absurd journey apparently called "life" who are willing to share their pain and joy in the hope that there is a future ahead of us that will actually materialize and not just remain theoretical.