Comparison Is Death

This phrase was commended to me by one of my high school English teachers. I've always kept it in my head because I tend to store away information of that kind. The kind that is somewhat helpful at the time, but will most likely (hopefully) be useful in the future either to you or someone else.

These words have been coming into my mind in the last week as I've noticed how much I've been comparing my life to others' lives. Difference is good to notice and can be helpful in opening your eyes to that which you cannot or will not see on your own. Being the analytical self that I am, I notice the differences often and then sit and wonder about them. Why don't I write more about these kinds of things? Or, I wish I thought more like that. Or, If I could just stay more focused or more motivated then I could accomplish this and that.

Whilst these thoughts have been floating in my head the last few days, something Paul said joined the conversation. "All you have to do is be who you are right now, no matter what that is." And truthfully, is there anything else we can be? We only have these eyes to see through, these ears to hear with and these feelings to feel. How we experience life is the only version out of which we can speak.

But the grass looks better groomed and more verdant over there. Those people look happier than me. I won't be as good at this job because I don't think like this or I don't see things like that. The more I think these thoughts, the more I see of me; the more space I take up. Such comparisons spread through me like black death decaying every cell it touches, darkening the edges until all is consumed. As I slowly die, this phrase comes back into my mind. Until I start wondering, If comparison is death, what is life?