The Backdoor of the Welcome Wagon

Tonight I met my intern committee. There are some interesting people on it. One guy has traveled to 52 different countries. Some he’s flown to, some he’s sailed to on his own. The people range from one roughly my age to someone in their 70-80s. I’m looking forward to getting to know each of them, where they’ve come from and where they are at in life now. I’ve had to get used to being by myself. Partly because you just need to be okay being by yourself. Partly because I like to hide and protect myself from the messiness and stress of other people. Talking with the group tonight reminded me afresh that life is not all about me and what I do and know. Life is about connections, relationships and community. Without support and help from each other, we end up with a warped, inward gazing view of life. It’s the people around me who turn me inside out. Who help cut the ties that bind me up. Who help peel the scales from my eyes. I wouldn’t be here without them and they wouldn’t be here without me.

Being on your own has a way of making you wonder who will take care of you if you don’t or can’t. Who will watch the back door of your life? Who will be there to support you when you screw up, get hurt and leave a trail of wreckage where you’ve been? I know I can’t do it all and I can’t solve every problem. What makes me think I have to try? I guess this world brings that out in people. If you aren’t on top of your game, someone else will take your place. After all, we are expendable and replaceable. And how do I trust other people to not hurt me in turn? How do I know that they will take care of me?

Tonight on the TV I saw a commercial for the show Journeyman. It’s about a guy who travels back in time and changes history for the better. The guy says “What if I get it wrong?” and one of his partners says “You will. That’s part of it.” So…kyrie eleison.