The Heart of the Awl

MN was always a place I wanted to go. I made a salt map of MN in third grade and have known ever since that I wanted to see what MN was like. Having studied it for class, it sounded like such a neat place in which to live. Over time my dream of living in MN faded from memory. Eventually I ended up living in MN and it was only then that I remembered my third grade dream.

Today I landed in ID. Originally the plan was to pass through here without much attention to the state. Though it was a completely unplanned stop, part of me is glad that I landed here today. The toll of traveling and lack of sleep came crashing in on me today. I was fairly certain at lunch that I would end up face planting in my burrito. I came rather close too. Coeur d'Alene is a nice city situated on a huge lake which bears the name of the town. A sea plane, boats of all shapes and sizes, skateboarders young and old, volleyball players, kids, walkers, runners, bikers, swimmers all converged at the lake where we ate our fried chicken picnic dinner.

Perhaps my ending up here is a function of resistance to getting to WA. And or overdosing on systematic theology in the car today. I talked with Paul today. He tells me they are looking forward to my arrival and will take care of me. It's one thing to read that in a letter or a note. A sweet sentimental comment. But this was spoken into my ears unmistakably. Do I deserve this? I suppose it comes with the package. I certainly didn't expect to need it. Afterall, I'm an independent, essentially self-sufficient woman. I know when to ask for help, but the goal is to not have to ask right? What I find is that I'm left with that sinking feeling: What if I can't do it myself? What if I do need help? Or worst of all, What if I need someone else to do something for me?

So stopping here was apparently no mistake. The name of the town is French, named by French traders for a local Native American tribe who lived in the area. They had tough trading practices, hence the name Coeur d'Alene (heart of the awl--check it out on Wikipedia). Interesting that I am cut to the heart in the city named the heart of the awl. At any rate, tomorrow I enter WA. It is over. There is no more time. The day has arrived. We're bringing it in with Raising Helen.