How Dare You!!

What!?! You forgive me? That means you're accusing me of having done something wrong. But I'm a good person. I'm doing okay. Forgiving me means you're implying that I'm guilty. And I hate being wrong. I hate being the failure. I hate being the loser. Can't I ever get it right with you God? Isn't there anything I can do that will please you? And I also want to know, just exactly how far does this forgiveness go? I mean let's say you forgive me and I accept that fact. Then what? What happens next? What happens when I screw up the next time? Does this forgiveness just take care of what I do wrong or does it permeate into other things--like how I think about things and how I act? Does it change who I am then? Well who am I if I'm forgiven? Cause if you're going to change who I am--not that I gave you permission in the first place, unless you snuck that into the forgiveness and that's just...well, sneaky--then what do I have to hold on to? What becomes my pillar, my grounding point, my anchor? On what do I stand?